i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
