Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
