Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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