Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
