I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
