Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
