watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize