apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
