No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
