i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
