is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize