Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
