I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
