He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
