Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize