I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
