I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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