lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
