We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
