okay pat passed out under dana's car
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
