Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
