She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
