PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
