I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
