I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
