summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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