Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize