I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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