Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
