I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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