forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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