Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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