Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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