uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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