she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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