need another drink. this is the easiest way
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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