We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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