everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
