His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she told me i tasted like america
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
