Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
