Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize