I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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