Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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