I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
