so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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