great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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