'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
