found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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