yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
