Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
This toilet bowl is my home.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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