I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
