At least make sure they are 18
Why
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
