Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
