Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
