its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
