im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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