I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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