guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
