I wanna passion pit in your ass
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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