So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
