fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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