he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
