I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
