So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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