I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
